Organized Sports Stanley Cup Finals Recap: We Goin’ to See the Kangs

Dustin Brown.

The Los Angeles Kings have an American-born captain who is a defensive power forward. Sounds familiar, Blues fans.

Organized Sports is a recurring sports column named for a seminal DC avant-hardcore song by the equally stupid and brilliant (to me, “equally stupid and brilliant” pretty much just means “brilliant”) band Void. Take from that what you will. 

It is mid-June, and the National Hockey League is done until October. Let’s re some cap after the jump. Continue reading

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Organized Sports Stanley Cup Playoff Predictions: First Round Recap, Second Round Predictions

In Canada, you can say this and be absolved of murder charges.

In Canada, you can say this and be absolved of murder charges.

Organized Sports is a recurring sports column named for a seminal DC avant-hardcore song by the equally stupid and brilliant (to me, “equally stupid and brilliant” pretty much just means “brilliant”) band Void. Take from that what you will. 

As soon as the first round ends, the second has already begun. I made some predictions, some right and some wrong. Let’s review and hit the new, after the jump.

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Organized Sports: Stanley Cup Layoffs – Round One

Someone had already thought of my joke.

Someone had already thought of my joke.

Organized Sports is a recurring sports column named for a seminal DC avant-hardcore song by the equally stupid and brilliant (to me, “equally stupid and brilliant” pretty much just means “brilliant”) band Void. Take from that what you will.

Organized Sports makes its long-awaited, triumphant return with everything you need to know about who will (possibly, maybe, probably not?) be victorious in the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, the best postseason in sports. Said playoffs begin tonight in earnest (well, they actually begin in the hockey hotbed of Tampa, Florida, but who’s counting?), so here are the Fully Reconditioned predictions.

This year is the debut of a new format, with divisional playoffs before the conference finals, with the top three teams in each division, and then two “Wild Card” teams making the playoffs rather than the top eight from each conference. It’s a slight return to the way things used to be, but with a modern twist, which also results in one of the divisions being named the Metropolitan Division. Said division contains such gleaming metropolises as Columbus and wherever the fuck the New York Islanders, Carolina Hurricanes and New Jersey Devils play. One day I will view their shimmering spires.

It also means that there was an actual incentive to win the divisions, keeping the regular season slightly more meaningful than it has been in the past. That being said, the real season begins here. Predictions and sour feelings about the author’s hometown St. Louis Blues after the jump.

Round 1 Predictions – Atlantic Division Continue reading

Organized Sports: Olympic Hockey at the Halfway Point

TJ Oshie and Jonathan Quick, because America.

TJ Oshie and Jonathan Quick, because America.

Organized Sports is a recurring sports column named for a seminal DC avant-hardcore song by the equally stupid and brilliant (to me, “equally stupid and brilliant” pretty much just means “brilliant”) band Void. Take from that what you will. 

As of yesterday, the Sochi Olympics Men’s Hockey Tournament reached its halfway point with the conclusion of the preliminary round of pool play. Thus far, we’ve already witnessed an instant classic game in the United States’ shootout win over Russia/coming out party for St. Louis Blues’ not-quite-star TJ Oshie, but there have been a couple of other really tight contests as well, including Canada’s final win in overtime over Team Finland and Russia’s second shootout, a winner against a resurgent Slovak team.

As great as these games may have been, though, they were not elimination games. The preliminary round eliminated no teams, only serving as seeding for the elimination tournament. The winner of each pool received a bye for the first round of the elimination tournament, leaving Sweden, Canada and the United States safe, along with Finland, the second place team with the best record and goal differential, until the quarterfinals.

Because I like to predict things in order to see how wrong I can be, let’s guess how the tournament will play out after the jump, shall we?

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Organized Sports: It’s Time for Hockey Patriotism

David "Back-back-back-back-" Backes will be suiting up for the US Men's Hockey team.

David “Back-back-back-back-” Backes will be suiting up for the US Men’s Hockey team.

Organized Sports is a recurring sports column named for a seminal DC avant-hardcore song by the equally stupid and brilliant (to me, “equally stupid and brilliant” pretty much just means “brilliant”) band Void. Take from that what you will. 

I’m not typically a Rah-Rah-America type of guy. I feel fortunate to have been born in the United States, and understand the advantages I have as a result and am grateful for them, but it’s not that often that I feel like hopping on a giant bald eagle, grabbing a second-amendment protected assault rifle, and firing it into the sky as I wave the stars and stripes. Except, of course, when the Olympics come around.

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Organized Sports: Nobody in America Watches the NHL and I Understand Why

devils fans

These guys like hockey.

Organized Sports is a recurring sports column named for a seminal DC avant-hardcore song by the equally stupid and brilliant (to me, “equally stupid and brilliant” pretty much just means “brilliant”) band Void. Take from that what you will. 

I get it. For a long time, as a diehard hockey fan, someone who went to games as far back as I can remember, who played the sport as a kid and a teenager, who even had a falling out with the sport and was successfully won back with the high quality of post-lockout play, I finally understand why no one watches hockey on television. What made me have this bold epiphany? What gave me this new insight into the viewing habits of sports fans in America?

I hate soccer.

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Organized Sports NHL Playoff Predictions: Grading the Conference Finals, Predicting the Stanley Cup Finals

Stanley Cup bikini girl

A scene a few weeks into the future, when the Kings win the Stanley Cup.

Organized Sports is a recurring sports column named for a seminal DC avant-hardcore song by the equally stupid and brilliant (to me, “equally stupid and brilliant” pretty much just means “brilliant”) band Void. Take from that what you will. 

The Western and Eastern Conference Champions have been determined, and if at the beginning of the playoffs you had the Kings and the Devils vying for the Cup, you were probably insane. If you had the matchup at the beginning of the season, maybe less so—the Kings were expected to make a push after the addition of Mike Richards, and the Devils have the mix of young stars and experience that makes a good blueprint for a championship hockey club. The Stanley Cup Finals begin tonight. Let’s see how it’ll shake out, after the jump.

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