Organized Sports NFL Picks: Boo Per Soul

King Conan

Watching the Super Bowl with crown on his troubled brow.

Here we are, the last meaningful game of football until early September (or late August, for you college football fans). As far as I’m concerned, we couldn’t have gotten a better Super Bowl matchup. It’s one that many pundits predicted at the beginning of the year, those pundits who weren’t trying to be clever and choosing the Texans and Falcons, both horrible this year, to make it. We have the best offense going against the best scoring defense, a team with the veteran quarterback of all veteran quarterbacks versus a team of young upstarts, Peyton Manning throwing at Richard Sherman. Who could ask for anything more?

The media day hype has passed. The pundits have all chosen their winners. King Conan has finally ascended from lowly Cimmerian barbarian adventurer to rule the kingdom of Aquilonia, driving his enemies before him and hearing the lamentations of their women. Stupid journalists have written annoying thinkpieces about race, class, and everything else that has nothing to do with whatever will happen on the field. And Tom Brady isn’t there.


(Note: All point spreads listed here are the lines at the time bets were made. Be sure to consult your very legitimate and legal sports book [cough] before making a bet of your own; lines move constantly due to the action on particular games. Also, gambling is illegal in many states. And watch out for those offshore betting sites, lest you end up like an online poker professional. Okay? Okay. Onward and upward.)

Championship Round Record: 0-2

Playoffs So Far: 3-5-2

Overall Record: 125-128-10

Super Bowl (2/2 6:30PM ET)

Seattle Seahawks vs. Denver Broncos -2.5
There are a number of ways to go with this pick. The smart, sharp gambler would take the Seahawks, because they opened as a one-point favorite and are now a two-and-a-half point dog, showing that almost all of the public money came in on the Denver Broncos. The sentimental pick would have me taking Peyton Manning and the Broncos because I’d prefer Manning to get another Super Bowl and shake off some of the criticism related to his playoff record in comparison to Tom Brady and other all-time greats AT THE QUARTERBACK POSITION. The analyst in me would take the Broncos because the Seahawks are a far lesser team away from home, where their 12th Man (and additional pumped-in noise) make it nigh-impossible for the other team to run an offense. The pessimist in me would take the Seahawks because I’d prefer the Broncos to win and think Pete Carroll is a big-’ol poopyhead.

I’ve done a poor job picking games thus far this season, going below .500 for the first time since starting this picks column or keeping track of my picks in games going on six years ago. So I’m following the sharps, and taking the Seahawks, plus the points. Here we go.
My Pick: Seahawks +2.5
Bonus Pick: Under 47

People watch the Super Bowl in many ways. Some, like me, actually enjoy watching the game. Some take it as an excuse to drink heavily and eat a lot of chili (nothing wrong with that). Some “just watch it for the commercials” and should probably be ostracized and laughed at. Some even work in advertising (shudder) and “rank how well the commercials did” and I likely work with these people, usually young women, and therefore I will say nothing bad about them, and remember that I am the one who is not only single, but alone.

Enjoy the game. Or the commercials. Or the beer.


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