Organized Sports is a recurring sports column named for a seminal DC avant-hardcore song by the equally stupid and brilliant (to me, “equally stupid and brilliant” pretty much just means “brilliant”) band Void. Take from that what you will.
It doesn’t really feel right to write a jokey NFL picks column after the weekend the NFL just had, when I am unsure whether or not any games should have been played, and completely certain in my opinion that one specific game should not have been played, even though all involved handled the tragedy as best it could be handled. But I also don’t want to add anything more than that, because it’s already been written about here, and everywhere, and I won’t pretend to have anything more eloquent to say on the matter than that. Picks to follow.
Last Week: 8-6-1
My Record So Far: 94-90-6
Thursday Night Football (12/6 8:25PM)
Denver Broncos (-10.5) at Oakland Raiders
A spread of ten-and-a-hook seems high, but the Raiders haven’t shown themselves to be able to stop anyone this year, and Peyton continues his march back steadily.
My Pick: Broncos (-10.5)
Sunday Early Games (12/9 1PM ET)
Baltimore Ravens at Washington Redskins (PK)
I’ll take the home team in a pick ’em after seeing how wildly the crowd reacted to the RGIII heroics during the Monday Night defeat of the Giants a few days ago.
My Pick: Redskins (PK)
Kansas City Chiefs at Cleveland Browns (-5)
Picking either side in this feels terrible.
My Pick: Browns (-5)
San Diego Chargers at Pittsburgh Steelers
As of the time this was written, this line was still off the board, as the Steelers’ quarterback and other injury situation is still not resolved. Whether Roethlisberger plays or does not, I’ll take the Steelers.
My Pick: N/A
Tennessee Titans at Indianapolis Colts (-5)
As I wrote last week, I am on the Andrew Luck betting bandwagon, and will continue to take the Colts.
My Pick: Colts (-5)
Jacksonville Jaguars at New York Jets (-2)
Surely no matter what happens, ESPN’s First Take will use this upcoming matchup to talk about Tim Tebow.
My Pick: Jaguars (+2)
Minnesota Vikings at Chicago Bears (-3)
Despite the Bears’ loss last week, I don’t see these teams as evenly matched as the spread indicates, and have to go with the home team.
My Pick: Bears (-3)
Atlanta Falcons (-3.5) at Carolina Panthers
The Falcons go on the road and do to the Panthers what they did to the Saints last week in their home.
My Pick: Falcons (-3.5)
Philadelphia Eagles at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-7.5)
The Eagles are not good.
My Pick: Buccaneers (-7.5)
St. Louis Rams at Buffalo Bills (-3)
The Rams either win or cover.
My Pick: Rams (+3)
Dallas Cowboys at Cincinnati Bengals (-3)
Both teams need this game, but this Bengals team seems more likely to come through in December.
My Pick: Bengals (-3)
Sunday Late Games (12/9 4:05PM ET)
Miami Dolphins at San Francisco 49ers (-10)
The spread is too high to take the Niners after last week’s loss to the Rams.
My Pick: Dolphins (+10)
New Orleans Saints at New York Giants (-6) (4:25 start)
The Giants need this game more than the Saints, and will get back on track after their Monday Night loss to the Redskins.
My Pick: Giants (-6)
Arizona Cardinals at Seattle Seahawks (-10) (4:25 start)
Who plays quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals?
My Pick: Seahawks (-10)
Sunday Night Game (12/9 8:20PM ET)
Detroit Lions at Green Bay Packers (-6.5)
The Lions will lose at the last minute yet again.
My Pick: Packers (-6.5)
Monday Night Football (12/10 8:30PM ET)
Houston Texans at New England Patriots (-4)
In a marquee matchup that’s likely ultimately meaningless, the Texans prove the stronger regular season team.
My Pick: Texans (+4)
Back to the bad puns next week, hopefully. See you then.