Organized Sports NFL Picks – Week 9: High Coup

Peter King

Peter King haikus/Inspired this gambling column/I’m out of gimmicks

Organized Sports is a recurring sports column named for a seminal DC avant-hardcore song by the equally stupid and brilliant (to me, “equally stupid and brilliant” pretty much just means “brilliant”) band Void. Take from that what you will. 

Each week, Monday Morning Quarterback writer (and butt of Kissing Suzy Kolber jokes) Peter King concludes each of his columns with a parting haiku. They never really add any wisdom—one could argue, neither does the rest of the column—but here’s hoping that the haikus I include with each of these picks get us at one with both our poetic natures and the ebb and flow of the gambling world.

(Note: All point spreads listed here are the lines at the time picks were made. Be sure to consult your very legitimate and legal sports book [cough] before making a bet of your own; lines move constantly due to the action on particular games. Also, gambling is illegal in many states. And watch out for those offshore betting sites, lest you end up like an online poker professional. Okay? Okay. Onward and upward.)

Last Week: 9-5

My Record So Far: 55-59-4

Thursday Night Game (11/1 8:20PM ET)

Kansas City Chiefs at San Diego Chargers (-10)
Quinn out for Cassel
Rivers makes angry faces
Coach Romeo doomed
My Pick: Chiefs (+10)

Sunday Early Games (11/4 1PM ET)

Arizona Cardinals at Green Bay Packers (-9.5)
Discount double-check
Rodgers has the endorsements
Packers get the win
My Pick: Packers (-9.5)

Detroit Lions (-4.5) at Jacksonville Jaguars
Underwhelming this season
Megatron and Matt Stafford
Get their stats this game
My Pick: Lions (-4.5)

Calvin Johnson

Madden cover curse/Is it actually real?/We’ll find out this week

Chicago Bears (-3.5) at Tennessee Titans
Jay Cutler angers
The Bears’ Chicago faithful
That’s why I like him
My Pick: Bears (-3.5)

Denver Broncos (-3) at Cincinnati Bengals
Manningface is back
And the arm is almost there
Bengals are not good
My Pick: Broncos (-3)

Carolina Panthers at Washington Redskins (-3.5)
Cam Newton will pout
When RG3 wins this game
The Panthers are bad
My Pick: Redskins (-3.5)

Baltimore Ravens (-3) at Cleveland Browns
Ray Lewis is out
Less murder in this lineup
The Browns will still die
My Pick: Ravens (-3)

Ray Lewis

No sideline chanting/Because he has a hurt knee/Should be in prison

Miami Dolphins (-3) at Indianapolis Colts
Rookie quarterbacks
Are pretty good this season
Luck v. Tannehill
My Pick: Colts (+3)

Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans (-10.5)
A likely beatdown
But the spread is too damn high
So I take the Bills
My Pick: Bills (+10.5)

Sunday Late Games (11/4 4:05PM ET) 

Minnesota Vikings at Seattle Seahawks (-3.5)
Seattle at home
A usually good bet
I’ll take the Seahawks
My Pick: Seahawks (-3.5)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Oakland Raiders (-3)
The day’s least watched game
No one will see this one played
Except for gamblers
My Pick: Raiders (-3)

Carson Palmer

Palmer has red hair/Not a good quarterback sign/Just like USC

Pittsburgh Steelers at New York Giants (-3.5) (4:25 start)
Ben Roethlisberger
Is the only quarterback
Who’s a rectangle
My Pick: Giants (-3.5)

Sunday Night Game (11/4 8:20PM ET)

Dallas Cowboys at Atlanta Falcons (-4.5)
Interception time
Whenever the Cowboys play
Shots of sad Romo
My Pick: Falcons (-4.5)

Monday Night Football (11/5 8:30PM ET)

Philadelphia Eagles at New Orleans Saints (-3)
Michael Vick killed dogs
Drew Brees helped bring back his town
The world is unjust
My Pick: Eagles (+3)

Travis writes haikus
Travis is a haiku God
Travis writes haikus

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