This weekend, I learned how to stop worrying and love watching the New England Patriots. I’ve written before, many times, that the Pats are my most-hated team, with a lot of that being due to their upset of the Rams in the Super Bowl to begin a cold-blooded, unfun dynasty lasting throughout the 2000s. But this past Saturday evening, it was admittedly pretty enjoyable to watch a great quarterback, Tom Brady, and a great coach, confronting Tebowmania by basically just being all “fuck this.” I incorrectly predicted the game would remain close enough so that a garbage time TD from the Denver Tebows might bring them within the spread, and that was stupid. I correctly predicted I’d go 2-2, though, so that’s where we stand, heading into this, the final weekend of multiple NFL football games.
That the football season is almost over makes me have a sad, but both of these games seem like they’ll be pretty entertaining, which gives me a happy. So on with the unrelated YouTube video and the predictions, at least one of which will be wrong.
A band I will not be seeing at Coachella, because that shit is sold the fuck out.
(Note: All point spreads listed here are the lines at the time bets were made. Be sure to consult your very legitimate and legal sports book [cough] before making a bet of your own; lines move constantly due to the action on particular games. Also, gambling is illegal in many states. And watch out for those offshore betting sites, lest you end up like an online poker professional. Okay? Okay. Onward and upward.)
Wild Card Weekend Record: 2-2
Playoff Record: 4-4
AFC Championship (1PM ET)
Baltimore Ravens at New England Patriots (-7.5)
The Ravens squeaked past the Texans by a touchdown, even though for much of the game the Texans looked like the better team. The Patriots, as touched on above, laid waste to the Broncos in a game that ended 45-10 and really wasn’t even that close. Though there’s that old adage that defense wins championships, I don’t think defense is going to win this AFC Championship game, and there’s no way Joe Flacco can keep up with Tom Brady and his double-headed tight-end monster in a shootout. Just for shits and giggles, I’m gonna pick a score, too: Patriots 35, Ravens 17.
My Pick: Patriots (-7.5)
NFC Championship (4:30PM ET)
New York Giants at San Francisco 49ers (-2.5)
The home 49ers are another team I have a distaste for, both for home team Rams reasons and for thinking that their coach seems like the kind of dude who would have shoved me into a locker in high school. Lettuce be reality, though—just about any of these people would have shoved me into a locker in high school, and the Niners’ victory last week was pretty damn awe-inspiring, even though I both picked and preferred the Saints. I think their run of destiny ends here, though, because of another run of destiny, the Giants again having beaten the Packers at Lambeau and it really seeming like they just have to have a Super Bowl rematch with Belichick, Brady, and the rest of the Pats. Giants 27, 49ers 20.
My Pick: Giants (+2.5)
Last week, there was one great game (Saints-Niners), another pretty good game (Giants-Packers), a really ugly game (Ravens-Texans) and a much-needed blowout (Patriots-Tebows). Here’s to hoping there’s at least one more great game this Sunday. Football: I enjoy it.