Booth Review: FR watches the All-Star Game

(Fully Reconditioned gathered the troops for a live-diary of what became the worst MLB All-Star Game in recent history. We sure wish the game had been a lot more exciting, but we hope the resulting and frustrated banter is at least mildly amusing. Due to chatroom issues, the first handful of remarks lack a timestamp.  Also, all timestamps are Pacific.)

Travis: HI TYLER!

We are all Jeter.

Tyler: Over/under on Jeter references?

Travis: I’m gonna get my Jeter joke out of the way:

Travis: here goes: I very nearly had to withdraw from this liveblogging due to the mental and physical trauma of my pursuit of 3000 straight days of not being a professional athlete who’s had sex with many of the world’s most beautiful women

—–

Nathan: Is the video component supposed to be used? I look stupid.

Travis: i am not using video

Travis: unless you guys are 19 year-old coeds

—–

You be the judge.

Tyler: …the football song?

Travis: I think Fox Sports only has one song. they play it before kings and ducks games too

Tyler: Lazy. I am so fucking excited right now. I do like that the logo is in the D’back’s font.

Travis: Also, Prince Fielder looks like Fat Lebron but with hair

—–

Tyler: Serious question: it’s the All-Star Game. It’s meaningless. You think any of these guys had a few drinks before the game?

Travis: I’d hope some of them had some drinks, but sadly Mark Grace is not playing

Travis: though with the amount of people that bowed out, he was probably not too far down on the list

—–

Clever, yet sophisticated.

Nathan: Captain America is directed by the same guy who did The Rocketeer.

Travis: Hey it’s Anne Boleyn from the Tudors!

Travis: And confession: I really loved the Rocketeer whenever it came out

Travis: though i don’t think i’ve seen it since i was about 10

Nathan: I had a Rocketeer t-shirt.

(This video plays as part of the interminable pre-game “festivities.”)

Tyler: Oh, no.

Tyler: With credits??

Travis: Note: Brad Pitt narration

It's cool, he landed on his feet.

Tyler: ROSE

Tyler: OBAMA

Travis: MOM JEANS!

Travis: they used a non mom jeans angle

Tyler: Joey Bats! He’s my dog in this race

Tyler: Ron Washington: cocaine.

Tyler: AGAIN with the credits?

Tyler: America time

——-

Nathan: Do either of you care which team wins?

Travis: I’d prefer the National League, out of loyalty to the Cardinals, though I’m not gonna lose any sleep over it

Nathan: I know the Tigers won’t get anywhere beyond round 1 (if they get that far), so I don’t really care too much, but I’ll root for the AL.

(At this point, Joe Buck has skipped about half of the AL roster in announcing the teams.)

Travis: Whoops! they skipped the Tiger dudes!

Nathan: Cabrera, Peralta, Verlander, Valverde!

Travis: Jordan Walden?!

Travis: my baseball ignorance is going to show at many points

Travis: There we go, Joe. Back on track.

Nathan: I am going to flaunt my baseball ignorance.

Nathan: My wife just said one of the Texas Rangers players is cute.

Travis: Alexi Ogando: also never heard of him

Nathan: Jurrjens: Former TIger prospect. Ugh.

Travis: Hunter Pence: name of player most similar to a supermodel name?

[17:22] Tyler: SCOTTY

[17:22] Travis: Rots Colon.

(FOX unfurls the first of many, many, many promotions from Simon Cowell’s upcoming X Factor.)

[17:23] Travis: pepsi commercial?

[17:23] Tyler: ……….

[17:23] Tyler: This better have a punchline

[17:24] Travis: or electric car commercial?

(The punchline, as it were, is that Simon, shown being all sweet and cuddly for the first half of the ad, actually remains the same old curmudgeonly dream-crusher that he always has been.)

Just, God damn, dead sexy. FR have the vapors.

[17:24] Tyler: WOKKA WOKKA

[17:24] Tyler: ASDFHIASDfhoawehr

[17:24] Tyler: mr3489q70b8

[17:24] Travis: my guns n roses is coming back to haunt me

[17:24] Tyler: Emmanuelle Chriqui from Entourage??

[17:25] Tyler: OH SNAP

[17:25] Tyler: YOU DON’T POP SIMON’S SNACKS

[17:25] Travis: how is this any different than american idol?

[17:25] Tyler: How the fuck long is this commercial?

[17:25] Tyler: FIRST PITCH MY ASS

[17:26] Nathan: The X Factor has a red color scheme; American Idol is blue. How could you not see that.

(As if on cue, American Idol alum Jordin Sparks sings the anthem.)

'Sup, girl?

[17:29] Travis: Here’s a pop culture phenomenon that’s passed me by. This girl.

[17:29] Tyler: Yeah, I mean, I get the cross-promotion and throwing her a bone and all, but…?

[17:29] Tyler: You’re not harmonizing with anybody, Jordin.

[17:29] Nathan: reverb?

[17:30] Tyler: Okay, alright, back to the sports.

(Gillette drops some ridiculous bullshit on us as the game remains unstarted.)

[17:31] Travis: “I’m wondering, has there ever been a boy born…can swim faster than a shark?”

[17:31] Nathan: With beard, I don’t need to worry about this stuff so much.

[17:32] Tyler: “Moments away.”  Sure.

[17:32] Travis: “Tim McCarver is coming right up.” Please no.

[17:33] Travis: Joe Buck sounds like his voice is going out.

[17:38] Travis: I think some baseball might happen

(Baseball!  It’s all downhill from here.)

[17:38] Travis: ….is anyone else here?

[17:39] Nathan: I got kicked off. What did I miss?

[17:40] Travis: you missed me asking if anyone was here

[17:40] Nathan: I enjoy seeing Granderson fail.

[17:41] Travis: Halladay 123 in the first.

—–

[17:44] Travis: Brian Wilson: “Our lineup is pretty filthy.”

Who gave Jordan Catalano a baseball career?

[17:44] Tyler: God, I hate this guy

[17:44] Travis: i thoroughly enjoy him

[17:44] Tyler: You would.

[17:44] Tyler: Oh, Jered.  I haven’t seen him since the reunion in ’98

[17:45] Tyler: Did I miss any Reds shit?

[17:45] Nathan: Nope.

[17:45] Travis: Scott Rolen had to pick up and replace his shoulder blade.

[17:45] Nathan: Oh, yeah, there was that.

[17:45] Tyler: sigh

[17:45] Tyler: Mets jersey: a good one

[17:46] Tyler: Mark Langston!

[17:46] Tyler: I mean, I’m sure whatever story Buck just told was really meaningful, but I drifted off.

[17:46] Travis: Beltran struck out swinging for a change!

[17:47] Tyler: Your boy Kemp, Travis

[17:48] Travis: Andre Ethier is also on the team. I will break out the chant when he enters the game

[17:48] Tyler: Please do.

[17:48] Tyler: Old-school Orioles T back there? I approve

[17:48] Travis: This game would be better if Vin Scully were announcing it

——-

[17:48] Tyler: HAMBURGER

Feel the love.

[17:48] Nathan: I remember when Prince’s dad, Cecil, hit 50 HRs for the Tigers. It made the evening news.

[17:48] Travis: Fat Lebron with Hair flies out to left

[17:48] Tyler: Josh Hamilton.  Love him

[17:49] Tyler: Cecil was familiar to me as a Blue Jay

[17:49] Tyler: They’re estranged

[17:49] Travis: Being a fat kid I always liked Cecil

——

[17:50] Tyler: Budweiser.  It’ll get you laid.

[17:50] Travis: I wish Budweiser commercials would show jets flying over Brussels instead of St. Louis.

[17:50] Tyler: Men: helpless without their women!

[17:51] Tyler: What is this movie?  I’d never heard of it, and then bus-stop ads with Steve Coogan popped up up here

——-

[17:51] Tyler: Which two MLB teams have never hosted an all-star game

[17:52] Tyler: Rays

[17:52] Tyler: Nats

[17:52] Tyler: unless they include the Expos?  Did they ever host one?

[17:52] Tyler: Marlins!

——-

Life is like a hurricane, here in, Duckberg.

[17:52] Tyler: SCOTTY

[17:53] Tyler: Best base-runner leads into…most Gold Gloves.  Thanks, Tim

[17:53] Travis: Scott Rolen: possesses MLB’s most tiny, duck-like mouth.

[17:54] Tyler: Already warming up a fucking reliever?

[17:54] Travis: they’re only letting halladay pitch 2

[17:54] Travis: for whatever reason

[17:54] Tyler: See, that’s why this game is bullshit

[17:54] Nathan: They have to show off Cliff Lee’s shoes.

[17:54] Tyler: IT MATTERS but only so much because we need a gimmick for ratings.

[17:55] Tyler: The home-field aspect of this game makes me want to die

[17:55] Travis: the mlb could easily have an awesome All Star Game, because there’s nothing about baseball

[17:55] Travis: that should make people not wanna try in the all star game

[17:55] Tyler: Mea culpa: I did not think Berkman would be able to handle the outfield

—–

[17:55] Tyler: This preview is fucking awesome

Preview, awesome. Poster, a little much.

[17:56] Nathan: I don’t usually care for sports movies, but I’d watch that.

[17:56] Tyler: That movie had a fucking disastrous path to production, but what a trailer

[17:56] Tyler: Director: Bennett Miller

[17:56] Tyler: Capote

[17:57] Travis: i sadly have yet to read the book

[17:57] Tyler: My uncle lent me his copy.  I never read it cover-to-cover, but I got through most of it

[17:57] Tyler: in pieces

[17:57] Tyler: It’s well-written.  I don’t know about that guy Michael Lewis otherwise, other than that

[17:57] Tyler: he’s married to Tabatha Soren

[17:58] Travis: hahahahah!

[17:58] Travis: i forgot about her

(This happens.)

[17:58] Tyler: ………………………………………………………..

[17:58] Travis: was that terrence howard?

[17:58] Tyler: You embarrass me.  You embarrass y’self.

[17:58] Nathan: Grab some Buds. Is that supposed to be a double entrendre?

[17:58] Tyler: It was

[17:58] Travis: am i on acid?

—-

[17:58] Tyler:Who the fuck is David Robertson?

[17:59] Travis: some kid who was in the other second grade class who you never get to know before he moves away

[17:59] Tyler: Dude, you hear about Robertson’s cousin?  Motherfucker’s stacking bodies in Iraq.

[17:59] Travis: i like mccann

—–

[18:00] Tyler: Ms. Tyler: “How can you be underrated, but you’re in the All-Star Game?”

[18:00] Travis: answer: not be on the red sox or yankees

—–

?

[18:01] Tyler: David Robertson is pleased.  He’ll tell his mom about it over milk and cookies later.

[18:01] Travis: they’re showing slugging pct.  we’re almost there

[18:01] Tyler: Props, Fox

[18:02] Tyler: Not so much a fan of this logo in the outfield

[18:02] Tyler: BLUE JAYS

[18:02] Tyler: That 54 HRs is amazing.  I do believe that he’s clean

[18:02] Travis: it’s possible. clean as anybody

[18:02] Nathan: He’s lithe enough.

[18:03] Travis: matt holliday: probably not clean

[18:03] Travis: also: a favorite of annoying girls with pink cards caps

[18:04] Tyler: “Michael Pineda?” Another stranger

[18:05] Nathan: Avila!

[18:05] Tyler: …….?

[18:05] Travis: that was embarrassing

[18:05] Travis: go cards!

[18:05] Travis: (holliday/berkman strikeout throwout dp)

[18:05] Nathan: Yeah, that doesn’t erase the horrifying memory of the Cards beating the Tigers in the WS.

——

[18:05] Travis:local news commercial: playboy mansion and carmageddon

"Dr. Victor C. Young, Pastor."

[18:06] Tyler:local up here: Steve Stone: GETS DEEP

[18:07] Travis:also, i am playing free cell

[18:07] Nathan: I got a commercial from a leather-clad guy with a Bible reading me a verse.

[18:07] Nathan: for the Fountain of Life Church in Johnson City, TN.

[18:07] Tyler: Save big money at Men-AAAAARD’s

[18:07] Tyler: I am flossing my teeth

——-

[18:09] Tyler: If Kirk Gibson has to go onto the field, he should do it while limping.

[18:11] Travis: we get it, robinson cano loves his father

[18:11] Travis: and grounding out

[18:11] Nathan: i like the Sparky patch on Avila’s arm. Tips hat to all Reds fans.

[18:12] Tyler: Tips the hat back

——-

[18:13] Tyler: I will spend this sneak preview [Captain America: The First Flob-Squeeb] smoking a cigarette.

[18:13] Travis: that guy was already the human torch. i’m confused

——

[18:17] Tyler: Yeah dawg. Stan Musial.

[18:18] Tyler: Rays and Marlins.  Raise one to Scotty, Travis? Come on

[18:18] Tyler: C.J. Wilson’s Twitter handle? “str8edgeracer.” Make of that what you will.

[18:20] Travis: rickie weeks: the name of a child character in a stephen king novel

[18:21] Travis: sorry i missed the raise one to scotty

[18:21] Travis: they’re gonna need to get megan rapinoe on the g series stat

[18:24] Travis: curtis granderson: marking out for booker t

——-

[18:26] Nathan: Finally. Something happened.

[18:26] Travis: right after they talked about cliff lee never missing over the middle of the plate

[18:27] Travis: he missed over the middle of the plate

[18:27] Tyler: Sorry, dinner prep.

[18:27] Tyler: …oh, the All-Star Game

[18:29] Travis: tyler clippard: no idea

[18:29] Tyler: “Tyler Clippard?” And I’m the baseball fan here

[18:29] Travis: it’s what you do to your nails

[18:30] Travis: tyler clippard his nails

[18:30] Travis: <gets into fetal position>

——

[18:31] Tyler: Budweiser is you.  Is me.  Is all of us.

——

[18:32] Travis: i really wish joe morgan would have been in the box announcing when they have to talk about moneyball

—–

[18:36] Tyler: Friends With Benefits: Talented people getting ahead of themselves.

——-

[18:36] Tyler: Youkilis! Cincy native

[18:36] Tyler: Moneyball legend

[18:37] Tyler: Timberlake is high right now.

[18:38] Tyler: Good Lord, JT

———

[18:40] Nathan: Sorry. I had to take care of a couple things.

[18:40] Tyler: You missed nothing.

——–

[18:41] Travis: BOOM!

[18:41] Tyler: The plot sort of maybe thickens!

[18:41] Nathan: No home runs last two AS games. 2 HRs for this one.

[18:41] Tyler: Hamburger Fielder 3-run shot

[18:42] Travis: One who Fields future kings

——-

[18:47] Travis: i don’t want to see this planet of the apes prequel

[18:48] Nathan: Terra Nova = Jurassic Park for TV?

[18:49] Travis: This kid doing batting stance impressions sucks. GONG GONG GONG

———

[18:50] Tyler: VOTO

[18:50] Tyler: VOTTO TOO

[18:51] Travis: Votto should have straight punched cano in the face with that dribbling grounder

[18:52] Tyler: JOEY

[18:52] Tyler: Boom

[18:52] Travis: the sound of the ball hitting his glove: vottomatopoeia?

——

[18:53] Tyler: Holiday Inn.  Professional, yet accessible.

[18:53] Travis: holidae inn: rub on each other and sip on some henn

[18:54] Tyler: Oh, come on, “Brass In Pocket?”

[18:54] Nathan: Faux Johnny Cash? That’s rough.

[18:55] Travis: i believe thats the second awful firestone commercial like that we’ve gotten

[18:55] Tyler: I hate those ads

——–

[18:56] Travis: phoenix, AZ: state of constant drought, but full of golf courses and the stadium has a swimming pool

[18:56] Tyler: Jordan Walden?  Eugh

[18:56] Travis: yeah i’ve never heard of him

[18:56] Tyler: This game is a farce

[18:57] Nathan: If I finish this, it will be the first All Star game I’ve seen from beginning to end.

—-

[18:57] Tyler: AND WRIGLEYVILLE GOES WILD!!!!

[18:57] Tyler: SCOTTY WATCH

[18:57] Travis: NOW YOU KNOW YALL BE LOVIN THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE!

[18:57] Tyler: Just keep pulling those starters, guys.  Riveting entertainment

[18:58] Travis: stolen base! smallball!

[18:58] Tyler: PLAYIN THE GAME THE RIGHT WAY

[18:58] Tyler: Rolen is thrown off because his walk-up music, Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida,” didn’t preface his at-bat

[18:58] Travis: it’s that now? it used to be rollin by limp bizkit, as quoted by me above

[18:59] Tyler: He transitioned last year.  Actually, I think he might use both

——

[18:59] Travis: you know what i enjoy? buster posey not being part of this

[18:59] Tyler: He’s somewhere sticking pins into a doll of <Dude Who Crashed Him>

[18:59] Travis: nah he’s just whining about it

[19:00] Tyler: I have a beard.  Therefore, I am an effective relief pitcher.

[19:00] Travis: meanwhile, somewhere steven stamkos is still trying to pull his impacted teeth down from his gums

[19:00] Tyler:OMG STARLIN CUBS QUADE FUTURE IS BRIGHT

QUADE

[19:00] Travis: starlin castro needs to try and steal home

[19:01] Tyler: Yes.  Agreed

[19:01] Travis: or that could happen

[19:01] Travis: oh shit.

[19:01] Tyler: Damn. This game might be worth watching yet

[19:01] Travis: ANDRE ANDRE ANDRE ANDREEEEEEEE

[19:02] Travis: ethier is hitting 311

—–

[19:02] Nathan: fancave?

[19:03] Travis: no idea

[19:03] Tyler: Eugh

——

[19:04] Tyler: Another beard.

[19:04] Nathan: on a reliever.

——

[19:05] Travis: foulin’ em off. makin ‘im work for it. small ball

[19:05] Nathan: Would’ve been cool to see the ball smash the camera. Opportunity missed.

[19:06] Nathan: Is it just me or does Tim Lincecum look like a girl w/out his hat?

[19:06] Travis: it’s not just you

[19:06] Tyler: It’s been pointed out by a billion people, but he looks like Wiley Wiggins in Dazed And Confused

[19:06] Travis: definitely

[19:07] Nathan: I’m really showing my fan devotion here….

——

[19:07] Travis: you guys getting a gout commercial?

[19:07] Tyler: Yes!

[19:07] Nathan: yessir.

[19:07] Travis: i don’t know what gout is

[19:07] Travis: i could easily look it up, but id rather not know

[19:07] Travis: and pretend it’s like ricketts or scurvy

(This nonsense.)

Can I count it off!!

[19:08] Tyler:GATORADE SON LIKE A SEX MACHINE

[19:08] Tyler: Joe Mauer get on that good foot!

[19:08] Travis: this is an ill-conceived gatorade ad since joe mauer sucks huge balls this year

[19:08] Travis: he does not have soul. he is not superbad

——-

[19:09] Tyler: I would not go romping around hills in no Jeep Grand Cherokee

—-

[19:09] Nathan: Should I watch Harry Potter 5-7(first half) to prep up for this new one?

[19:10] Tyler: Fuck that shit

——-

[19:13] Travis: miguel cabrera is also hitting 311

[19:13] Tyler: He’s blowing it on the breathalyzer, too!  PAHAHAHAHAFSDA

[19:13] Travis: he’ll tell a cop that he knows his fuckin’ rights

[19:14] Tyler: Will Miggy pop himself on the field a la Last Boy Scout?

——

[19:14] Tyler: I can’t hear Billy Crudup without thinking of him as Tim Geithner

[19:15] Nathan: If I stood up to cancer, I’d rather not have Reese Witherspoon visit me.

——-

[19:16] Tyler: FUCK OFF AND GO AWAY EISENBERG

[19:16] Nathan: I like Aziz, though.

——

[19:18] Nathan: That kid looked like he had no idea what to do with Heath Bell.

—–

[19:19] Tyler: The couple that recently moved in downstairs are strumming acoustic guitars

[19:19] Tyler: It sounds like Raffi

——

[19:19] Tyler: JOEY

[19:20] Tyler: Come on, Joe

[19:20] Nathan: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[19:21] Tyler: You are not kidding

[19:22] Tyler: Oh, Joseph.

Sage advice.

[19:22] Nathan: Anyone know anything about Fry’s Food Stores? Keep seeing that ad in the outfield.

[19:22] Tyler: I’m curious too!  Hold on

[19:22] Tyler: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fry%27s_Food_and_Drug

[19:22] Tyler: Yadier Molina, eh?

[19:23] Travis: he’s good at things

[19:23] Tyler: Sweet tats

[19:23] Travis: those are some ill-conceived tats, you are correct

[19:23] Tyler: Lord have mercy, this game needs some excitement

[19:23] Travis: did i ever tell you about when i saw yadi eating at chili’s in fairview heights illinois?

[19:24] Tyler: …maybe?

[19:24] Travis: well that’s the whole story

[19:24] Travis: he also wore sunglasses inside

[19:24] Tyler: So he could so he could?

——-

[19:24] Tyler: More Steve Stone

[19:24] Nathan: Thre’s a huge summer sale going on at the Johnson City Chevy dealer.

[19:25] Tyler: Infiniti. The history of progress.  In a sedan.

——

[19:26] Tyler: Fucking Gyllenhaal

[19:26] Nathan: He needs to lose the beard.

——

[19:27] Tyler: JOE BUCK SERIOUS VOICE

[19:29] Nathan: Crazy Stupid Love. Never saw Love, Actually, but I wonder if they’re similar.

[19:29] Tyler: I have a soft spot for Love, Actually

——

[19:29] Tyler: The matchup every casual fan tunes in to see: Jurrjens v. Quentin.

[19:29] Tyler: JOEY

[19:30] Tyler: …Joey…

——

[19:30] Tyler: Who in the flying fuck is Matt Joyce?

[19:30] Nathan: This game is the sports equivalent of NyQuil.

[19:31] Travis: we’ve got a Moneyball player of the game?

[19:31] Tyler: EUGH

[19:31] Nathan: I wish they’d just show the fans while we listen to the announcers call the game.

—–

[19:34] Travis: The historic skyline of Phoenix

[19:35] Nathan: Wonder what the Scottsdale skyline looks like.

——

[19:35] Tyler: Craig Kimbrel. Anyone?

[19:35] Tyler: Paul Konerko: Red for five seconds

[19:35] Travis: Was he blushing?

[19:35] Tyler: No. Leaking secrets

[19:36] Travis: all i knew from the braves were mccann and jurrjjjjrrrrjjjjjens

[19:37] Travis: this kimbrel is news to me

[19:37] Tyler: Howie Kendrick.  I’ve heard the name, but, come on. This is like watching a AAA game

[19:38] Nathan: One of my friends here is Braves-obsessed. I’m right on the border of Braves and Reds fans

[19:38] Tyler: I think you know what to do.

[19:39] Travis: tying run at the plate. you could cut the tension with a knife

[19:39] Tyler: PHILLIPS VOTTO

——

[19:39] Tyler: Seventh inning dong party time

Turn it inside out so I can see...the part of you that's drifting over me...And when I wake, you're--

[19:40] Travis: will we have a god bless america? who will sing it?

[19:40] Tyler: YES!!!!!!!!!

[19:40] Travis: it’s your girl, tyler!

[19:40] Travis: man i totally forgot this chick even existed

[19:40] Nathan: Isn’t she that girl who sang that “Makin’ my way downtown…” song? I like the piano part for that song, but nothing else.

[19:41] Tyler: Way to kill it, baby.  I’ll always remember the good times

[19:41] Tyler: And no, Nathan, that was Vanessa Carlton.  “A Thousand Miles”

[19:42] Tyler: Michelle Branch was “Everywhere”

[19:42] Nathan: Oh…don’t know Michelle Branch, then.

[19:42] Travis: she also was in a country duo(?) that a girl i carpooled to work with listened to all the time

[19:42] Tyler: The Wreckers.

—–

[19:44] Nathan: Taco Bell XXL Burrito doesn’t look that big.

[19:45] Nathan: I can’t wait for football to start.

——-

[19:45] Travis: Brandon League?

[19:45] Nathan: If M. Cabrera left this game with an injury…ugh.

Delicious.

[19:46] Travis: that would be a waste huh

[19:47] Travis: JETER!

[19:47] Nathan: I’m eating a snack of California Golden Raisins

[19:48] Travis: you know, i heard that

[19:48] Travis: …through the grapevine

[19:48] Nathan: More smallball!

[19:49] Tyler: Whoa.  Pence has some wheels

[19:49] Travis: Night of the Hunter Sing a Song of Six Pence–Chris Berman

—–

[19:51] Tyler: My goodness, I cannot bring myself to be involved in this game.

[19:51] Tyler: C’mon, Brandon

[19:51] Tyler: Ah yes.  “Pop.”

—–

[19:52] Nathan: If baseball had a work stoppage, do you think MLB players would go to Japan?

[19:53] Travis: nah

—–

[19:55] Travis: i’m officially done with the “dude starts the flash mob too early” commercial

[19:55] Nathan: Audi is not poor or stupid enough to have race cars.

[19:56] Nathan: Cowboys and Aliens cross-pollenates my favorite genre with one of my least favorite.

[19:58] Tyler: I’m so tempted by it.

[19:58] Tyler: Craig?  Ford, looking like he might actually be trying?

——

[20:00] Travis: i honestly think i just spaced out for about five minutes

[20:00] Travis: and missed a half inning while just staring

[20:01] Tyler: Oh yeah.  I’m constructing some nachos.

—–

[20:04] Nathan: Smurfs Movie looks truly awful.

[20:05] Travis: Gout commercial, second time

[20:05] Travis: i get it now. gout is a disease that forces people to carry around a measuring flask full of ecto cooler

—–

[20:07] Tyler: Where are we?  What is happening?

Get the fuck back! Guard ya grill!

[20:08] Travis: your crush is batting

[20:08] Travis: and another Red!

[20:08] Tyler: Oh, I see. Hey, Jay! I can’t even fake excitement.

[20:08] Travis: firstname firstname!

[20:09] Travis: gio gonzalez?

[20:09] Travis: should i have heard of him?

——

[20:09] Travis: gout commercial 3rd time, 2 breaks in a row

——

[20:12] Travis: unrelated note: Plaxico Burress is worth following on twitter. total insanity

—–

[20:15] Travis: did you guys just see that ridiculous Chevy truck commercial?

[20:15] Travis: i feel like i hallucinated it

[20:16] Tyler: I was in the kitchen

——

[20:17] Nathan: Are we in the 9th? I missed that somehow.

[20:18] Tyler: Right? This game is just ass

[20:19] Nathan: AL has man on base!

[20:19] Travis: that was a terrible throw

[20:19] Travis: “defense is the one weakness of his game”

[20:20] Travis: wouldn’t that lead someone to believe he shouldn’t play short?

[20:20] Travis: wait! this is the cubs, never mind

[20:21] Travis: ……..fundamentals

[20:22] Nathan: More defensive garbage! Yes! Go AL!

[20:22] Travis: fear the beard, tyler!

[20:24] Tyler: I AM EXCITED

[20:24] Tyler: I’m actually grilling hot dogs on the porch.

[20:25] Tyler: I kind of feel like me grilling hot dogs is a lot more baseball than anything we’ve seen tonight

[20:25] Travis: i’m gonna make a brian wilson joke now

[20:25] Travis: “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” if this game were over?

[20:25] Tyler: Drove downtown in the rain, nine-thirty on a Tuesday night

[20:25] Tyler: Just to check out the late night, record shop

[20:26] Travis: i don’t know what you’re talking about

[20:26] Nathan: Wilson is cracking!

[20:28] Travis: It’s over!

[20:28] Nathan: Now I probably won’t watch another baseball game till the playoffs.

[20:29] Travis: Sounds like a plan.

[20:29] Travis: so should we reconvene tomorrow night for the ESPYs?!

[20:29] Travis: ….sorry, not even funny as a joke

[20:30] Travis: farewell all

[20:30] Nathan: G’night.

[20:30] Tyler: Night.

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One thought on “Booth Review: FR watches the All-Star Game

  1. Pingback: Travis’s NFL Picks – Week 1: Fine Alley « Fully Reconditioned

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