So, the NFL season is over, and once again the New York FOOTBALL Giants (I’ll never not be annoyed by announcers, specifically Chris Berman, calling them that) have defeated the New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl. Again, it happened in the final minutes, with Mario Manningham replacing David Tyree in the role of Awesome Catch Maker and Ahmad Bradshaw replacing Plaxico Burress as Game Winning Touchdown Scorer, though he looked like a potty training two-year-old missing the toilet as he did so.
Since I bet that the Patriots would win, I suppose I should be a little disappointed at the outcome, but I’m not. People are calling the Belichick-Brady dynasty into question (stupidly, but it’s enjoyable nonetheless) and I can say what everyone wants to on television, but holds back from doing so: they haven’t won since they stopped cheating. And, hey, since I bet the under too, I went .500 in the final week of the playoffs just like every other week. Mediocrity: I embody America.
So this is the final NFL Picks column for 2011-12. There’s nothing left to pick for this year, but hey, gambling is gambling, and there’s always things to bet on, so let’s look ahead to next year after the jump and go over the odds for each team next year winning the Lombardi Trophy, with dumb jokes and bad puns sure to follow after the Jump.
It’s “Jump,” for the jump. All right, I’ll just show myself out.